Current mood:	crazy
Current music:	How can I play music and type at the same time?

Posting. Clean slate.
I have recently noticed that I *do*, in fact, have a live journal account. This may come as a shock to you all, but I haven't posted a single (public) entry since August 22nd, 2004. I decided to ask myself a simple question: Why have I not posted anything in over a year?
Because I feel I have nothing valuable to say. Or at least no way to say it. Certainly, I have thoughts that I think are significant. I even dream of being a proliferate writer and artist. What am I going to write about? My day? My days are pretty much like every other day. Things happen, I get excited, things don't happen, I get disappointed. I think of myself as being very straightforward, and trying to write what's going on when you're very straightforward can be very difficult.
It all comes out--to be blunt--boring. I say more or less the same things. I like eating. I love my boyfriend. Work sucks. People make no sense. Straightforward. I say how I'm feeling.
But being straightforward doesn't get me what I want. I want...attention. Praise. Friendship. I expect that I can tell people exactly what I want and expect from them, and they'll give it to me. I tell them that I like them and they'll like me back because people like to be liked.
Things don't really work that way. The realization came to me at work today, in fact. I have a co-worker who is doing things outside of the company procedure, which creates more work for him and for everyone around him. He is attempting to shift a responsibility off the shoulders of the team and put it on the individuals. This particular responsibility is not something within the power of the individuals to handle on their own, and he proves this time and time again by not completing his tasks.
I decide that this needs to be explained to him.
Why? I don't ask myself this question, and it becomes increasingly clear that I should.
I don't attempt to even have a conversation about it. I tell him the policy, I explain to him why it works the way it does, and he continues to insist that he is right. Why am I doing this? What can be gained by my doing this?
I know that he believes that he is right. I knew that from the start. Why else would he be doing what he is doing? Do I think I am going to convince him otherwise? No, of course not. I actually *do* know that you can't really argue someone out of something. People believe that they are right and it's a rare one that listens to what I might call 'reason'.
So, I can't say I really want him to think I'm right. What I want is for him to follow the procedure and make life easier on me. On everyone else, also, of course. I admit that's secondary.
Being direct is not getting me what I want. What I should be doing is using my power as a newly promoted employee to pool resources with my other supervisors and make it mandatory that ALL employees follow the procedure in this case. Help set up expectations and goals, put effort into seeing things run smoothly. I am the first solution to my own problem.
I can make things better. For everyone. This is what I want. I can feel good knowing that people are having an easier time of their work, and that I myself will have more space to pursue my more ambitious projects. The little neurotic works that give me my own private joys. Everyone wins.
I'll also have something to write about.