Current mood:

tired

Listen.
I've decided to write a little entry on something that a friend of mine reminded me of, indirectly. It's about listening, and something I've observed in several people over the past few years that seems to lead to an amazing breakdown in communication. Here's an example.

Person #1: I'm hungry. We should get something to eat.
Person #2: I like bagels.
Person #1: I don't want to go get any bagels. Besides, Bagel Shops are too expensive
Person #2: Well, I'm not really in the mood to go out and do anything like that, either.
Person #1: Then why were you saying you wanted to?

This is something I call 'listening with your mouth instead of your ears'. Now, this is a rather simplified example. Yes, it could be taken to mean that person #2 wants to go get bagels to eat...but it could also mean that person #2 is wondering if there are bagels around somewhere, or contemplating a recipie to make bagels, and so on and so forth. Person #1 is thinking only about what Person #1 said, not about what the other person said. Instead of responding to what Person #2 is thinking about and expanding the conversation into bagels in some way ("I like them, too" "I don't like bagels at all, actually." "I don't think there are any in the house." "I wonder how they're made.") Person #1is responding to an internal conflict created by themselves. I call this listening wtih your mouth because you're creating things from what the other person has said with the things you're saying yourself.

This can also be carried on to the degree of someone who is rambling on and on without actually listening to what someone else is trying to contribute to thier ramblings. Usually, a rambling or rant will go on for some time, with the listener trying to provide an opposing view on occasional point. Instead of this being absorbed, it gets taken by the rambler and twisted while they're talking into something entirely different. This can sometimes be the 'fault' of the opposing speaker, if they're trying to steer the rambler off-topic abruptly.

Some of this might be too specific or vague to give proper examples of, but I hope some of the meaning is conveyed. And no, this isn't directed at anyone in particular, it was just something that popped up in my head.